Mealtime Protocol

Create consistent, community-building, relaxed mealtime protocols. Determine the ideal setting for sharing food, the arrangement of the tables to maximize pleasure and aesthetics, the tradition for opening the experience, the routines that focus attention on sharing food with courtesy and politeness, the content of what is most desirable to talk about together appropriately, a closing routine, and how the cleanup work is done when in community.

Consider what a social dinner party can be. The host plans where people are seated so they can relate to the person to the left, to the right, and across the table. The table is exquisite and the lights are low. Something is said at the beginning; something is said or done at the end. Conversations are about what the other person is doing in their life. Courtesies to others, such as passing to the right, offering to others, and asking, “Could I…?” or May I…?”

Pati Meyer at Pike Market Child Care had a noon meal that routinely lasted around 30 minutes. The overhead lights were off. The children helped prepare the setting with a tablecloth, battery candles, and usually flowers, ready for the food delivery cart from the kitchen. Food presented in bowls family style passed around the table to the right, counter clockwise, for orderly expectations. After everyone was ready the meal could start. She offered a gentle poem or talked about the importance of this community and this calm time to be together, just us. All of the children stayed until all were finished, not because they had to, but because the table with others was the most fun place to be. They could do their own cleanup but returned to the table to be with the others. She was a model of conversational interest, often beginning with some interesting self-disclosure or a true tale from her life.

Quaker Introduction:
All present join hands in a circle around the table, and are silent for half a minute or so as they collect their thoughts, meditate or pray. Then one person gently squeezes the hands of the people seated adjacent; this signal is quickly passed around the table and people then begin to eat and talk.

Quote Introduction: Shakespeare:
Good company, good food, good welcome, can make good people.

Helen Hearn:
We are grateful for this food. It restores our strength. It heals our bodies. It fuels our brains.
We are grateful for this time, to renew our spirit, to share our trials, to find new strength.
Yo. Ho. Ho.

Traditional Japanese:
itadakimasu (いただきます）grateful awareness of the receiving 

Here are prompts for discussion.

The Possibility

As a part of their daily life, a community of young children find themselves paused, gathered comfortably together, drawn into receiving food and camaraderie, where they have the opportunity to be drawn closer by sharing events in their life outside of school, as well as practice customs of care and courtesy in their culture.

The Opportunity

Mealtime occurs every day. It has its current sequence, which can be modified step by step towards what we think are admirable goals.

Invitation to Act

We can discuss this possibility today and seek to hear from everyone. We can plan to return to this topic again.