Pick a New Good Behavior to Reward
If we stopped our protocol for dealing with difficult behavior right here and only change the consequences that happened after the mistake, we would be constantly looking for mistakes. There’s one! Now I’ll do this.
Usually changing only the consequences fails to alter the behavior, with the exception of Personal Record and Positive Practice which operate in a significantly different way.
Behaviors followed by pleasant consequences are more likely to occur again. This is a true statement proven by years of research.
It’s opposite, behaviors followed by unpleasant consequences are less likely to occur again is not true.
It’s inescapable. In order to change troublesome behavior we have to make some new “good” behavior more pleasant at the same time as changing to one of the new consequences.
Two Sets of Alternatives
Incompatible List
The challenge is to develop a list of possible alternative behaviors that are the opposite of the undesirable behavior, where it is impossible to do both the bad and the good at the same time. For example, running in the classroom and walking in the classroom are incompatible. Eating at the table is incompatible with running around with food in one’s mouth.
Substitutable List
The challenge is to also deve a list of behaviors that accomplish the exact same ends but are more appropriate. For example, saying “Excuse me. Can I get by?” is more appropriate than pushing others aside. Saying “Can we trade?” is substitutable for grabbing.
That’s it. I wish I could offer more help, but there are only two categories here.
I have found that once I create a list as best as I can in each category, one item on the list emerges as a winner and others seem silly. Here are three examples; then you, with the help of others, I hope, can take on Sandy, Jeremy, and Charlie.
Examples
Problem: child drops coat in front of cubby’s coat hook. Hanging up the coat is incompatible with dropping it on the floor. Asking someone else to hang up one’s own coat is substitutable for dropping it on the floor (and become uniquely privileged).
Problem: child deliberately pours glue onto the floor. Pouring glue onto paper on the table in incompatible with pouring it on the floor. Pouring glue onto paper set on the floor is substitutable for the same action. Now it can happen appropriately (and become science).
Problem: child pours sand on another child’s head. Digging a hole or filling a container are incompatible. Pouring sand on a head protected by a rain hood or pouring sand on a doll’s head are substitutable.
Incompatible — Substitutable Challenge
I invite you to cooperate with others and generate lists of ideas for the three children we visited before on the Identifying the A-B-C Pattern page. Sandy. Jeremy. Charlie.
Usually it’s easy to spot the best choice for now. That’s it. That’s all this step tries to do.
The hope is to make this alternative more rewarding than it has been. It’s better than just waiting for the whining, climbing or dumping to occur. It’s a lot more fun to concentrate on the “good” behavior and make it a big deal. A little deal can works, maybe even better.
Is this it? Not really. We still have to deal with how we reward. Usually people praise it (“good job”) or try what they hear others do (“I like the way you are walking.”) Enterprise Talk page has the guides. Using Rewards Effectively has its own place on the menu or you can find it here.
A partial solution
At this step of the protocol we have some reasonable options to try whenever they commit a wrongdoing. There is always the chance for the air mattress effect: you sit on it here and it inflates bigger over there. More work is ahead.
With the listing of incompatible and substitutable behavior you may begin to see what this protocol action planning is doing. In stopping them being bad we have to attend to be good. The focus shifts from them to us.
We are building something we can help each other do, as a team. Every one of these I have done has improved my life, for which I remain grateful. We grow ourselves as we grow the children.
I invite you to look to your own life. You might recall how the course of your life was influenced when others were responsive, attentive and positive about something you did or where you proved yourself capable.